Shut up, get into the driver's seat and take control.
When something isn't playing out as we would like to we are quick to point out the problem: my boss is blocking me from progressing, the team dragged me down, my kids keep me from exercising. Easy excuses, sure, but how about taking control yourself?
Blaming others for things that happen to you means your life is dictated by those individuals. They decide your fate. they are in the driver's seat of your journey. If they have your best interest at heart, you might end up with your dream life. If not, well, they are the source of everything you would like to change. That doesn't sound very desirable, does it?
A big step towards a solution is the concept of owning 100%.
Owning 100% means you are responsible for everything. What you do, don't do and how you respond to what is done to you.
- Darren Hardy in The Compound Effect
Whatever happens to you, you approach it as if it was your decision. Are you lazy? Your fault, what can you do about it? Is your team not meeting the goals? Alright, you obviously haven't contributed enough or did not motivate them. Be an example, lead and push your team. Your employee let you down on an important presentation? Maybe you should've kept yourself in the loop.
This puts everything into the context of what you can do about it next time to avoid the problem. Just to clarify: I don't want you to stop trusting people and go one-man-army style through life. I'm saying (again and again) that complaining about others will not get us anywhere. It is about what we can do ourselves to improve situations and ourselves that will ultimately make the difference.
Not only did this change my own journey in many areas in my life into the positive but it also is a great feeling to be in the driver seat myself. I'm the one who decides about my life and if I'm a lazy-ass Netflix watcher Monday to Sunday it's because I chose not to do sports. No other excuses. It is my decision. But if my goal is to lose 10kg (which it is), I get up and do what is necessary.
Same at work. I complain about blocking colleagues just like anyone, but then I'm trying to find solutions - whatever gets the project to success.
Own your failures, own your successes - then go wherever you want.
Now, FIRSTNAME, I want to know when was the last time you owned up to a huge failure from you or someone else for the benefit of moving forward? Let me know by answering this email.
Have a great rest of the week and see you Sunday.